Sunday, July 11, 2010
A week ago, my brother-in-law Douglas Newman... a bipolar comrade who I always thought TRULY had the tools to survive, regardless... took his own life, leaving a trail of devastation that is beyond anything fathomable. The look on my sister's face when she tried to comprehend the fact that he "gave in" to his demons I liken to the feeling I get when I close my eyes and imagine what Edvard Munch' "The Scream" painting feels like. I don't know if that description does her pain any justice... but it is how I felt; quiet desperation wrapped in seething anger. Her soul bled, and any ounce of self-deprecation that I have ever felt that has ever led me to believe that life is not worth it ...fell away. AND FAST! It is imperative that we realize the importance of each of our existence to the large scheme of things; there is nothing honorable about choosing to take your own life. This I know now... and this I can honestly share with you. YOU ARE A GIFT... whether you think so or not. The darkness that we can feel so profoundly is there for a reason; without its viscous depth, we would NEVER understand the remarkable lightness that we,too,all experience. THAT is the beauty of this. LIVE. Yin-Yang. I understand now.