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Friday, August 20, 2010

Shhhhh... just listen.

On this Friday evening, I leave you with some words to ponder that will most certainly apply to you whether you are a parent-to-be, someone's child or someone's parent. In my humble opinion, this excerpt from Eckhart Tolle' "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" is something we can all relate to, regardless. Before I quote him for you, please check out his books if you haven't already. He is a true survivor, overcame depression and found enlightenment. His words resonate goodness and sincerity!

Conscious Parenting - Page 103

"Many children harbor hidden anger and resentment toward their parents and often the cause is inauthenticity in the relationship. The child has a deep longing for the parent to be there as a human being, not as a role, no matter how conscientiously that role is being played. You may be doing all the right things and the best you can for your child, but even doing the best you can is not enough. In fact, doing is never enough if you neglect BEING. The ego knows nothing of Being but believes you will eventually be saved by doing. If you are in the grip of the ego, you believe that by doing more and more you will eventually accumulate enough 'doings' to make yourself feel complete at some point in the future. You won't. You will only lose yourself in doing. The entire civilization is losing itself in doing that is not rooted in Being and thus becomes futile.

How do you bring Being into the life of a busy family, into the relationship with your child? The key is to give your child attention. There are two kinds of attention. One we might call form-based attention. The other is formless attention. Form-based attention is always connected in some way with doing or evaluating. 'Have you done your homework? Eat your dinner. Tidy up your room. Brush your teeth. Do this. Stop doing that. Hurry up, get ready.'

What's the next thing we have to do? This question pretty much summarizes what family life is like in many homes. Form-based attention is ofcourse necessary and has its place, but if that's all there is in the relationship with your child, then the most vital dimension is missing and Being becomes completely obscured by doing, by 'the cares of the world,' as Jesus puts it. Formless attention is inseperable from the dimension of Being. How does it work?

As you look at, listen to, touch, or help your child with this or that, you are alert, still, completely present, not wanting anything other than that moment as it is. In this way, you make room for Being. In that moment, if you are present, you are not a father or mother. You are the alertness, the stillness, the Presence that is listening, looking, touching, even speaking. You are the Being behind the doing."

I think this is a universal truth that can be applied not only to parent/child relationships... but to ALL relationships.

Something to ponder...
Amanda xo

Dont forget to check out what is happening in Ana's world...

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